3 Ways to NOT Eat Cadbury Creme Eggs

Easter is a lovely holiday. It's Spring and Jesus wrapped in a celebration meal that features seasonal foods - asparagus, lemon, artichokes, lamb, chocolate bunnies, Peeps, jelly beans and the Holy Grail of Easter basket candy, Cadbury Creme Eggs.

Oh My My, here we go again... along with Halloween, Easter is another huge out of control and totally ridiculous candy holiday. Post ops write poetry to Creme Eggs and use their power as an excuse as to why they could not resist. Cough cough... baloney.

3 words. Cadbury Creme Eggs

I know folks who go completely insane over Cadbury Creme Eggs. They are not alone as there are websites dedicated to using them as an ingredient - cakes, pies, deep-fried melted & baked! Just thinking about eating one makes me feel sick. I do believe I would just about die if I ate one as its been almost twenty years since I have eaten any real candy. I carefully guard and preserve the threat of 'dumping syndrome' and do everything possible to keep it intact because it helps me. The fact is that I don't really know if I would get sick if I wolfed down one or even three 'Creme Eggs' but I assume with such unwavering belief that I don't even consider it. It's off the table. Why would I go back to eating in the manner that got me here in the first place. (rhetorical question, don't answer)

OMG, I bought them and look what happened!

This will be a shock to some of you, but if you buy them you will eat them. When you are looking at the Creme Eggs in your home, you would have handled them at least 8 times from shelf to mouth and at any point could have pulled the plug on your self destruction, yet did not. If you buy them? You will eat them! The key is to NOT buy them. Same premise as 'if you do not go to McDonalds, you will not eat a cheeseburger'. I have NO WAY to eat a McDonalds cheeseburger IF I do not go to McDonalds. I cannot eat the crispy fried chicken skin from Popeyes Fried Chicken, if I do not go to Popeyes. No Subway... no sub. Feel the common thread with this line of thinking?

But I have Kids and it's Easter

Using innocent children as an excuse to buy Easter basket candy is not fair nor does it further your weight loss or health ambitions. You can tell other people but stop snowing yourself. Do kids really need Easter baskets these days? If you attend church there are simply other parts of the story for focus. The average five year old is too smart to believe that a giant rabbit leaves a basket of candy in the middle of the night for them. This is similar to the implosion of Mickey Mouse and Santa. We were idiot children who were mesmerized by such wonder. We didn't know it was a guy in a plush acrylic suit, but the wee ones of today have iPads and iPhones.

They know better and they don't need an Easter Basket. Really, you know they don't.

Hansel & Gretel were warned

Fairy tales teach us to not go where we know the danger lives. I have avoided the witch who lives in the 'Gingerbread House' for many years by staying out of the woods. Of course it is a Choice as I always give myself Permission, but I Choose to not go there.We all know what is good and what is bad. Be true to yourself and keep the control in your hands rather than looking for reasons to eat foods you really don't want to eat. We are all adults and we know this stuff. Think your way through it. You know darn well that you should not be eating Easter Candy - millions of slim people donít eat Easter Candy.

Stop the slide early on

When you are in the grocery store, standing in front of the shelf, staring at the Foil Covered Chocolate Eggs, SAY NO. Say it out loud, really it helps. IF YOU FIND THEM IN YOUR HANDS, PUT THEM BACK. It is better than making excuses and later feeling guilty that you ate them. Bargain with yourself to wander to the sugar free chocolate and talk yourself into throwing the Sugar Free Russell Stover Coconut Eggs into your cart. It is a better deal you will be much happier with in the long run.

1... 2... 3... KABOOM!

Ummm... and YES, I am completely aware that sugar alcohols in sugar free chocolate can be fairly explosive in nature. I don't give it a thought while eating my first or second foil wrapped Coconut Egg. It does move up in priority when I am eating the third one while looking at my watch, to note the time when I started, it gives me a reality check. I actually weigh the pro's and con's of eating that third one versus how badly I do not wish to ruin my evening.

I have clearly established that three is my limit per 24 hour period and there are five in a package. I know where the line is and it's one grand negotiation between me and Fatbrain as to whether I eat them all. However, when Fatbrain wins, no harm just foul with sugar free. Pun intended.

Have a wonderful and reverent Easter with your loved ones. Enjoy the Ham, have some sweet potatoes and even a slice of no sugar Carrot Cake, but Don't Go Where the Danger Lives!